Explore All Jokes

“What do you use to blindfold an Asian?”

“Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start.
The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter".
The Electrical enginee...”

“You see, mountains aren't just funny.”

“Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?”

“A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a price on a drink.
The barkeeper says: "For you... no charge!"”

“A Roman walks into a bar and raises 2 fingers and says to the bartender...”

“What do you call a cow with no legs?”

“I'm not saying my son is ugly...”

“How did Harry Potter get down the hill?”

“Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..."
Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..."
Judge: "Learn Java!"

“Two peanuts were walking.”

“My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.”

“What is the best prefix for global variables?”

“I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.”

“My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact deta...”

“Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop?”

“Why is every gender equality officer female?”

“UDP is better in the COVID era since it avoids unnecessary handshakes.”

“What do elves post on Social Media?”

“I used to love to tell dad jokes.”

“What does the MacBook have in common with Donald Trump?

I would tell you....
But I don't compare apples to oranges.”

“A perfectionist walked into a bar... apparently, the bar was not set high enough.”

“I have these weird muscle spasms in my gluteus maximus.
I figured out from my doctor that everything was alright:
He said "Weird...”

“Thank you student loans for getting me through college.”