Explore All Jokes
257 jokes
“Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start.
The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter".
The Electrical enginee...”
“You see, mountains aren't just funny.”
They are hill areas.
“Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?”
Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
“A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a price on a drink.
The barkeeper says: "For you... no charge!"”
“A Roman walks into a bar and raises 2 fingers and says to the bartender...”
"Five beers, please."
“What do you call a cow with no legs?”
Ground beef.
“I'm not saying my son is ugly...”
But on Halloween he went to tell the neighbors to turn down their TV and they gave him some candy.
“How did Harry Potter get down the hill?”
Walking...
JK, Rolling.
“Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..."
Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..."
Judge: "Learn Java!"
“My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.”
“My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact deta...”
“I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.”
All I did was take a day off.
“Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop?”
It's too high a price "toupee."
“Why is every gender equality officer female?”
Because it's cheaper.
“Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?”
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
“What's the difference between an apple and a black guy?”
The apple will eventually fall from the tree that it's hanging from!
“UDP is better in the COVID era since it avoids unnecessary handshakes.”
“What does the MacBook have in common with Donald Trump?
I would tell you....
But I don't compare apples to oranges.”
“Thank you student loans for getting me through college.”
I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you.
“I have these weird muscle spasms in my gluteus maximus.
I figured out from my doctor that everything was alright:
He said "Weird...”